The Weirdest Dream I've Ever Had

I have crazy dreams.  I always have.  But this one I had last night takes the cake.  It was so bizarre and vivid, and I remember so many little details, I've been thinking about it all day, and I just had to write about it.  Maybe some dream analysis expert out there can figure out what on earth is going on in my head.

I have this recurring nightmare where I'm trying to take a shower, and for varying reasons, I can't.  There is always this underlying stress that I'm about to be late for something also.  So, whether the shower thing is symbolic, or it's about being afraid of being late, I don't know.  But I dream this a lot.  This dream started out like that.

I was at my grandparents' house, and I needed to take a shower.  And there were all these people in the bathroom, one of whom was this naked guy.  And I wasn't shocked or embarrassed or anything that there was a naked man in my bathroom.  I was just mad that he was in there and wouldn't leave so I could shower.  At one point I distinctly remember telling him he had to get out of there because I was already three hours late for school.

Then somehow R came into the picture, and he said he'd take me somewhere that I could shower.  So we started travelling all over the place, trying to find a place I could shower.  We were having no luck, and I was watching the clock realizing it was noon, then 1:00, then 2:00.  At that point, I called my grandpa and asked him if it was okay if I didn't go to school today.  And he said to me, "Janet, you are 40 years old.  You have a masters degree.  You don't ever have to go to school again, unless you want to."

By this point we were on some farm like thing, and there were thousands of people everywhere.  Kind of like Woodstock, only this was a meeting of some sort of religious cult.  There were people everywhere speaking in tongues, passing out, sleeping on the ground, etc...  I was really freaked out by the whole thing and just wanted to get out of there, and then I realized that they were getting to R.  He started acting weird, and I was getting really upset and trying to reason with him.  Then next thing I knew he had disappeared.

So, I was running all over this cult/farm place trying to find him and getting more and more upset.  Finally I talked to this woman who was telling me R was gone, and they had him now, and he was never coming back to me.  I got right in her face and said, "Shut the f*ck up b*tch."

Then some little girl started trying to inject me with something I knew was bad.  So I was running away trying to keep her from getting me.  At some point I had the realization that this was just a dream, and that in my dreams, I can fly.

So I took off flying and got away from the creepy little girl with the needle.  Then I realized, hey, if I can fly, I can go anywhere I want.  I started thinking of where I would want to go if I could fly.  I decided I'd really like to fly over New York City, so I did.  Flew right over the Manhattan skyline.  Then I wanted to fly over the beach, so I did that.  Next stop was San Francisco.

And somewhere after San Francisco is when I woke up.

Overall, it was kind of a nightmare.  I mean, the whole can't shower thing is always really upsetting to me.  And then when the crazy cult people stole R, I was a wreck.  But, there were some distinctly positive elements.

For one, I think it's positive that my grandpa informed me I never had to go to school again, unless I wanted to.  I mean, isn't the whole school thing a common nightmare?  Showing up at school naked, having a test you didn't study for, etc...  And it was like my dream world gave me permission to never again have school nightmares.

I also actually think it's a positive thing that I cursed out the woman who was telling me R was gone.  Because in real life I rarely stand up for myself.  And this chick was out of line.

Then, of course, the whole flying thing was completely positive.  Both that I realized I was in control and could save myself from the situation, and the experience I had of flying over all these beautiful places.  I remember feeling really free while I was flying.

So, that's it.  Anybody have any brilliant ideas what all this nonsense is about?

Mary Kay Product Review

Recently A month and a half ago, I was sent some Mary Kay products to review.  (Better late than never!)  I was super excited about this, because I love Mary Kay.  I've been using the products since I was 15 years-old, and I actually sold them for about seven years.  Until I quit because my ex-husband roped us into selling Amway.  Don't even get me started on that.  In fact, don't even get yourself started on that.  EVER.

Anyway, so, they sent me some Mary Kay stuff.  It arrived a couple days after my birthday, so that was really fitting.  And it came in this cute box:

This is what was inside:

Sorry my picture is blurry.  I didn't know it was blurry until I'd already used the stuff, and I didn't want to be posting a picture of used stuff.  So here you go.

This is what I got, and what I think about it:

Lash Love Mascara in I <3 Black

That's a heart. If you can't decipher my emoticon. Okay, this mascara, if you are a SERIOUS mascara person, you will (heart) it. I don't so much (heart) it for daily use. For one thing, I use brown mascara usually. Back in the day when I sold MK, they taught that if you're blonde, you should use brown, and that's what I've always done. And I do (HEART) Mary Kay's Lash Lengthening Mascara in black/brown. That's what I use every day, and it's wonderful. I cannot stand eyelashes that are all clumpy and spidery looking, and this does a great job. The Lash Love, well, let's say it was a bit much to be hanging out at a preschool in broad daylight. Were I going out dancing, perhaps I would have felt it more appropriate. At any rate, my advice is to gently do ONE coat. Lightly. And don't go back over it. AT ALL. Unless it's Saturday night and you're hanging out a Studio 54. My two cents.

Compact Mini

I don't like it.  I'm just sayin'.  It's cute and little and could be neat for travelling maybe.  The brushes are in the bottom, and there's a mirror in the top.  It's magnetic, and the little colors are in metal tins, so it's neat how they snap right in there and stay.  But I don't like how all the shadows and the blush are right smack against each other.  It's like my silver shadow is always in my blush, and vice versa.  There needs to be some separation or something.  And I use bigger nicer makeup brushes, so having the brushes in there doesn't help me out.

Mineral Cheek Color in Cherry Blossom

I actually really like this.  Despite how horrifying it looks in the package.  Seriously, when I opened all these colors and saw what they sent me, I feared that someone had been smoking crack.  I honestly don't remember whether they asked me anything about what I look like or what colors I generally wear.  I don't think they did.  I'm blonde, fair skinned, blue eyed.  And they sent me like hot pink EVERYTHING.  But this blush actually looks nice and fairly natural on.  I mean, if you use a light hand.  Don't go nuts with it.

Mineral Eye Colors in Silver Satin, Iris, and Sweet Cream

I love the silver one.  Not so much the others. The quality is completely fine, it's just the shades I'm not wild about.  I prefer a lighter shade for my "highlight", and the purple one, well...honestly I haven't used it yet.  I know purple shadow is in right now.  Or it was last season.  Or something.  But I basically have two "looks."  The grey/silver look if I'm wearing cool colors and the brown/beige look if I'm wearing warm colors.  Maybe I need someone to show me how to wear purple, and I might love it.  I do like Mary Kay shadows in general.

Creme Lipstick in Fuchsia

I have to say that I stand corrected on this one.  Because like the blush, I took one look at this color and wondered who was smoking what when they decided to send this shade to me.  I mean, back in the day when I sold MK, they had a lipstick called Toffee that was like magic.  It looked fabulous on everyone.  Something more neutral like that is what I would have sent out in a test like this.  But whatever.  I tried this, and it's dark, but I actually really like it.  I like it better if I tone it down with some gloss.  My favorite is the Mary Kay Lip Gloss in Gold Rush.  It makes every lipstick better, I'm telling you.  (They didn't send me that.  I just have it already, and I love it.)

So that's my opinion.  If anyone else would like to send me stuff to review, I'll happily do it!

All opinions are 100% my own.  I was not compensated monetarily for this posting.  I did receive the above mentioned products free of charge to try out.  I was encouraged to blog about my thoughts, but it was not a requirement.

TMI...or More Stuff Nobody Tells You

I got my hair cut and highlighted this week, and I was looking forward to it, but also dreading it.  See, my hairdresser was the second person I told I was pregnant.  I literally had an appointment to get my hair cut and highlighted the day after I found out.  And I wasn't telling anyone yet, other than my mom, but I had heard that maybe coloring your hair wasn't such a great idea if you are pregnant, so I felt like I had to tell her.

She was super sweet, because I was a serious mess that day.  I was still in complete shock and WTF mode, and I started bawling as soon as she spoke to me.  By the way, her verdict was that yes, it's perfectly safe, but that clearly I wasn't comfortable with it, and so we didn't do the highlights that day.  Anyway, I hadn't seen her yet to tell her I had a miscarriage.

So, I told her, and didn't cry, miraculously.  I mean, generally I'm okay as I go about my day to day life, but somehow the first time I have to tell anyone, I cry.  Turns out, she had two miscarriages herself.  Between her two beautiful, healthy children, I might add.  I'm continually shocked at the number of women who have had this experience.

Anyway, on to the TMI portion of the post.

Nobody tells you that the first time you have your period after a miscarriage it's incredibly traumatic.  I think on some level it was giving me flashbacks to the entire miscarriage experience.  Maybe it's a touch of post traumatic stress disorder or something.  Plus, there was a tiny bit of my brain that really hoped I was pregnant again.  I know it was unlikely, but still.

So, that first little spot threw me into hysterical tears.  And I kept crying off and on the rest of the day.  R thought I'd lost my mind.  It makes complete sense that it would be difficult, but really, it hadn't occurred to me, and nobody had told me that.  I hope you never have to experience this, but seriously, somebody should warn you, just in case.

On a positive note, I've always had insane PMS, probably more to the point of PMDD.  Like since I was a teenager I've missed school or work every month.  I take crazy amounts of ibuprofen and lay in bed all day with a heating pad on my stomach.  Plus I've always had terrible breast pain and even have to wear larger bras in the week or two leading up to my period. (Yes, TWO, like as in I spend half my life in pain.)

I've heard that pregnancy is one of the best "cures" for PMS.  But somehow I thought you had to like actually have a baby to reap this benefit.  Turns out not.  At least for me.

This month I didn't have any pain in my boobs at all.  And I had really minor cramps.  I took a couple ibuprophen here and there, and that was it.  No biggie.  So, it's a small consolation for having to go through the miscarriage, but really, with the huge issue PMS always was for me, it's actually not such a small consolation.  It's kind of huge.

Don't get me wrong.  I would rather still be pregnant. But it's good to know some positive something came out of this.