Thank you so much for all the kind and supportive comments you left on my last post. This has been a truly awful experience, but I have been struck by the kindness I've been shown by so many people since the whole thing started. Friends, family members, even complete strangers. The nurses in the ER were wonderful. My boss has been very sweet. R's co-workers actually showed up at the ER to check on me.
Believe it or not, even my dad and step-monster were somewhat humane when I told them the news. This is epic, because SM was pure evil when I called to share the "happy" news that I was pregnant. Her first comment was, "Are you getting married?" Followed with, "I know people have babies out of wedlock all the time now, but I just don't think it's right." Then she went on to lecture me about the importance of all the prenatal testing because it's just "cruel" to bring a child into the world with problems. She actually said, "What if it comes out and it can't hear?!" Like that was the worst possible thing she could fathom.
She's a nut job. But thankfully, when I spoke to Dad about the miscarriage, she stayed off the phone. And I felt awful for even telling them about the pregnancy, only to tell them a week later that I'd lost the babies. But Dad said, "Well, of course I'm sad. But mostly I'm worried about you. I want you to be okay." And I think that was the most fatherly thing he's ever said to me in all my 40 years.
Everyone else I've shared the news with has been unbelievably supportive. People who have gone through this before, and people who haven't and tell me they can't possibly imagine how awful it must be. I have an abundance of offers to call people day or night if I need to talk. Mostly people just kept saying they don't know what to do, but that they're willing to do whatever I need.
I wish I knew what I needed. I don't have a clue what would make me feel better. Only that I feel really awful right now. I guess what I need is mostly time to heal.
Physically I'm almost back to "normal" whatever that is. Being pregnant felt so completely abnormal to me, I can't believe that being not pregnant feels so wrong.
Grab My Button
<a href="http://janetthinks.blogspot.com" target="_blank"><img src="http://i1177.photobucket.com/albums/x353/janetkay1/StuffButton.gif" alt="Stuff I Think About" width="125" height="125" /></a>
Stuff I Recommend
Search Using Swagbucks and Get Free Stuff!
Check Out Our Group Weight Loss Blog!
Followers
Subscribe To
Posts
Comments
Answer a Trivia Question to Feed Shelter Dogs
Other Blogs I Love
5 people had stuff to say about this:
I'm so, so sorry about everything. I think the biggest lie I hear is that you will go back to normal. My mom miscarried over 15 years ago, and she still thinks about it. Things may never go back to being normal, but I know that things will go back to being okay.
I've been thinking about you. I'm glad your dad has been supportive. Let me know if you think of anything I can do.
{HUGS}
Glad you're feeling supported!
I don't really feel like I have any useful words, but I think it's good to write about it and talk about it if that helps you.
I'm so glad your dad was, well, dad like and said what he said. And... that step monster stayed off the phone.
I think embracing the downer-ness of this experience is one very healthy way to deal with it. Sometimes, there's nothing to do to feel better. It might sound morbid, but there are plenty of days when I go out of my way to embrace my hardships by adding fuel to the fire by listening to depressing music, crying and overall just being in a crappy mood.
Sometimes things aren't meant to be fixed, but rather healed which ultimately only takes time.
Post a Comment